Sometimes, I like to pretend that I’m writing important documents at work instead of just the banal dribbles of reality TV characters (I love my job, though, really). Usually, I’m just scratching out story ideas or researching god knows what because I’m putting off doing something. Or messing around on here.

April was a weird month for me. Spring finally sprung, my allergies were in full force, and then it got cold and snowy/rainy again. Despite things calming down a little because of that as far as allergies go, this year has be atrocious and I dread the scourge of pine pollen that’s cackling evilly as it waits to pounce from above. Pretty typical for this time of year where I live, I guess.


Thanks to my job, I have discovered that I hate the tiny house movement with a passion worthy of an SJW on tumblr. I probably shouldn’t say that because it’s keeping my employed. Now, I’m sure there are a number of perfectly normal people who want to build and have a tiny house for poorly justified reasons, but all the people I’ve encountered (trying to be as vague as possible) are crazy! That’s all I’m going to say, but it’s true. You’ll see.

April, of course, marks the end of hockey season and the beginning of baseball season. Since the Avs didn’t manage to drop the puck so much as have it ricochet off the goal post, screech into the crowd, and bash someone’s nose in, I’m currently rooting for Vancouver to win the Stanley Cup. My parents are adamantly cheering for the Wild and it’s going to be a house of cat-calling and smack talk if ever the twain shall meet.

Baseball, however, is looking a little more promising. Or, at least, it was until the Rocks seemed to have started to slide obscenely fast backwards into the yawning abyss of somewhere between mediocre and absolute wank they’ve been lurking in for the last 20 odd years . . . Please, Rocks, be better this year. For me. I have no other sport teams left.

ice cream

To be fair, they’re actually doing really well and have a really good record so far. Maybe they sucked all the talent from the other Colorado teams, like in Space Jam.

*suspicious squint*

Moving on.

Around mid-April, I discovered the world of Minecraft and couldn’t get off it for daaaaaays! I didn’t read, draw, or write for, like, a week straight, which is the weirdest thing for me. It was just Minecraft. Nothing but Minecraft.

I had to push my eyes back in and consume half my weight in water every night when I finally wrenched myself away. Seriously, how can such a pointless game be so addicting? I can’t even figure out half the stuff and I can’t build much of anything more exciting than a square. I have big aspirations, though, so maybe someday, I’ll figure it out. I’ve already thrown enough hours into it than I thought I would, so there’s gotta be something to this game, right? Actually, I had such a hard time not doing anything other than play Minecraft that it sent me crashing headfirst into a wall of creative slump I have yet to fully get out of. That is one freaky game.


April tragically also marked the end of my beloved Samsung Galaxy S3. I feel like we’ve been together for so long, but I think that’s because my S1 and my S3 were basically the same phone, so I think I had it for much longer than I actually have. But I loved it and it was good and I’ve almost completely severed myself from the amorphous pustule that is the Apple franchise thanks to Samsung.

But one day, the screen just started glitching out. I could do basic things like text and talk and listen to Spotify (that’s a basic thing now, can you believe it?) but much beyond that was usually interrupted heavily by this weird glitch I had going on. It was quite distressing, really. I was expecting at least another year out of it.

dean sorry

So I had to grit my teeth and plunge into the world of the latest phone tech, the Galaxy S6. And I must admit, I love it!


It’s so sleek and it works so nicely and I actually got a fancy case for it, something I’ve never done, and it has the fancy glass screen protector instead of a crappy opaque monstrosity that makes me want to chew it off my phone. So I immediately changed my text tone to a kookaburra and I giggle every time I get a text AND I get emojis! Also, I still get the pointless award of having the biggest phone in the house.

godzilla sunglasses

And finally, I don’t care what the general consensus is (if you haven’t figured that out by now, you’re either a new reader or haven’t been paying attention), go check out Nickelback’s new album.

For whatever reason, I’ve loved Nickelback for a long time and I think they’ve been moving from strength to strength for the last 3 albums they’ve released. That won’t matter to the sheep who bleat about how much they suck because it’s cool to do so on the internet, but if you’re more independently minded and sincerely have never listened to them, check out their last 3 albums. I think they’re really killer.

happy thumbs up

And now, with April out of the way, we perch on the precipice of summer and the summer movie bash, looking forward with great anticipation as Age of Ultron, Jurassic World, Ant-Man, The Man from U.N.C.L.E, and Hitman: Agent 47 loom over the horizon, tendrils flailing wildly in either an attempt to seduce us or strangle us. I guess time will tell on that one.


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